Bullying: A Conversation with the Minister of Education
Monday Dec 19, 2011I recently had a phone call with the Minister of Education in Ontario. I'm not really sure how it happened, but their office reached out to me to ask if I wanted to discuss bullying with the Minister. Would I?! You bet. The question is, does she really want to hear what I have to say? I wasn't going to hold back.
I had dealt with some pretty tough bullying issues through the years with my own kids. I tried, unsuccessfully, to appeal to the parents. I then went through the proper channels at the school, also to no avail. We got through it, but it was a real eye opener. Over the past few years I've talked to many parents who have had children being bullied and even one or two whose children who were bullies. This is a sore subject for many families and it isn't going to go away. So when offered the chance to talk to someone in a position to make some real changes, I jumped at it.
It is unfortunate and aggravating that many parents don't teach their children how to "play nice." And, it's shocking how many bullying situations warrant the statement "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Minister Broten and I discussed the importance of teaching kids to help when they see a child being bullied instead of simply standing by. I'd like to think more children will come to the aid of victims and I appreciate that the Ministry is working on that message. We as parents should do the same. But overall, I don't think it's the Minstry's job to teach parents how to raise their kids. I'd rather the Ministry of Education focus on dealing with bullies and those situations inside the school so that kids and parents understand that this behavior will not be tolerated.
After speaking to many parents about bullying, there were three areas that came up repeatedly:
1. Special needs children
These kids are frequently victims of bullying and in some cases become bullies themselves. They need more attention in classes and teachers need more training to work with special needs kids and integrate them into classes. According to Sara Bingham of Weehands: "The incidence of language, hearing and communication problems among young offenders is higher than for adolescents in the general population. Increased speech-language services at the school level, including the use of speech-language pathologists and communicative disorders assistants, will serve victims of bullying and potential bullies themselves."
2. Early intervention in the curriculum
One thing that struck me as I watched my kids go through Kindergarten, was how socially ill prepared they were for grade school. Minister Broten agreed saying she'd like to add into the curriculum the "Third R: Reading, Writing, Arithmetic and Relationships." Kids need to learn how to be inclusive, fair, respectful, and how to manage friendships. (Some adults could use that lesson too!) If kids aren't taught this at home, and incredibly many aren't, they need to learn it at school. The reality is by the time your child enters the school system, parents are no longer the most influential person in their child's life. Kids spend the majority of their time at school among peers, so it seems natural they should learn skills about effectively managing friendships starting at an early age. If a child becomes suicidal as a result of bullying, we can all intervene, and we should, but truthfully shouldn't we have been there sooner for that child?
3. Robust bullying protocol
What I find quite shocking is that there really isn't a mandatory process that schools follow when dealing with bullies and victims. In most schools the process, if there is one, is confusing and inconsistent. Some schools deal with it and others don't do anything. Some schools claim they have a "zero tolerance" policy (which is not the Ministry mandate by the way). Other schools claim to have a "three strikes and you're out" rule, which in reality is rarely implemented. On a recent Facebook discussion about bullying one dad said the whole process is focused on the victim and the best thing to do is for the victim to change schools. What a massive upheaval for this poor child. Sadly, it seems to be the only solution when schools don't have processes or, in many cases, the training to deal with bullying issues.
My goal in talking to Minister Broten was to flag these issues with her. I wanted her to know that these are serious concerns and something needs to be done. To my pleasant surprise, she agreed. She is currently working on early intervention in the curriculum. She is also working on getting more resources for special needs children and their teachers. On the third point - process inside schools - Minster Broten agreed there needs to be a coherent process in schools for dealing with bullies. She was discouraged to learn that the emphasis has been on victims; specifically victims either living with being bullied or having to change schools to escape the situation. We actually discussed the concept of mandatory expulsion for bullying. In the end, what I really wanted was to ensure that Minister Broten would work with parents on developing these processes and solutions. Time will tell if that comes to fruition. Bullying in schools needs to be addressed NOW. It can't wait any longer.
Comments
Tracie; Thank you for speaking for all of us who follow the parenting rules and can't understand why no one is listening. You are listening and I feel I am not alone and look forward to hearing the what Minister Broten will change. If we all keeping talking about it, something has to change.
2011-12-19 by Michelle Osborne
Well done Tracie. Bullying will no longer be tolerated. Thank you for telling the Minister what so many of us need her to hear.
2011-12-19 by Lisa
Good for you!!
Well said. I hope they listen.
I wrote the minister of Education a letter (it's on my blog) about the Ontario Junk Food ban and it's problems..but never heard back.
SOOO glad you got someone to listen about bullying.
You go girl!
2011-12-19 by marci
Thanks Tracie -- well done. I am so happy this issue is finally getting the attention it deserves.
2011-12-19 by Debbie
Thanks Tracie -- well done. I am so happy this issue is finally getting the attention it deserves.
2011-12-19 by Debbie
Thanks Tracie -- well done. I am so happy this issue is finally getting the attention it deserves.
2011-12-19 by Debbie
Thanks Tracie -- well done. I am so happy this issue is finally getting the attention it deserves.
2011-12-19 by Debbie
I remember my daughter being bullied on the school bus when we lived in the USA,& bus driver did nothing, school did nothing, I went to the bully's house & screamed at the top of my lungs that I would bring a lawsuit against the family if it didn't stop. It worked. My daughter was lucky.
2011-12-21 by Sandy Bodnar
I remember my daughter being bullied on the school bus when we lived in the USA,& bus driver did nothing, school did nothing, I went to the bully's house & screamed at the top of my lungs that I would bring a lawsuit against the family if it didn't stop. It worked. My daughter was lucky.
2011-12-21 by Sandy Bodnar
Great post. Was surprised to read that "problems among young offenders is higher than for adolescents in the general population." But it does make sense. A lot of children bullies do so as a method of expressing frustration. It's unfortunate that schools are not addressing the requirements of special needs kids in an adequate way yet. Great that she's reaching out to parents & I hope she'll take your advice & continue to "work with parents on developing these processes & solutions."
2011-12-21 by Stéphanie Montreuil
My son had a learning disability. My son was a victim of bullying. The school did nothing. The Zero tolerance is bull. My son had to change schools as it became unbearable. I pulled my two other children from the TDSB as well. I called appropriate people in the board to complain. Nothing was done. We are happier now, as a family and most importantly, my son. This private school does have a true Zero tolerance.
I commend you for your frankness and for pointing out the real problems and I hope that the Minister listens.
Thank you for caring and thank you for trying to make a difference. I dont want any other child or parent to suffer like we did.
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Raffi_RC 12:54am via Web
@HelpWeveGotKids enjoyed your Dec 19 blog re bullying • i think "culture of respect" trumps "anti-bullying"~not a great term. may help : )
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